Puzzle Pieces

 I had a moment in these past 10 weeks, when I had an epiphany. For those that do not know what an epiphany is, or those who know the word but not the definition, an epiphany is “A moment of sudden revelation, or insight”, or “A moment when you suddenly feel that you understand, or suddenly become conscious or, something that is very important to you.”  Depending on where you look, the definitions are close to one another. Now what I learned from this moment was, how to get where I want to go in my life, as well as what I want to do with my life, my passion that is. And I call this my Puzzle Pieces.

Now what it taught me was, even though a little later in life than I would have liked, that the paths that I have followed, and the paths that I am following in my life have purpose, it led me to the moment in which I knew what I wanted, was where I was meant to be, and that I’m doing what is needed to achieve them. You see I’m in my 30’s now, not quite old yet, but tired. I would say I have lived, and I have much more life to live. I was in the armed forces, I’m a disabled veteran of war, I had my struggles as a child, I had my struggles as a young adult, I’ve travelled, I have worked hard to climb the ladder at all my employers, because I desired to learn, and to succeed, and I am a student, among much more. I would like to say I have experienced life, and I have much more to experience, but I followed the wrong ambitions, and dreams in the beginning. Granted all my experiences have made me who I am, and I don’t regret that. Because everyone is different, you might get your epiphany as a younger age then me, or maybe even later, but nevertheless, if you follow who your truly are, and what you desire out of life, you will see the way. But this is what the puzzle pieces are, they are your life, your experiences, your goals, achievement’s and so much more. It what makes you, you. For everything good, and bad in your life, but it’s up to you to embrace yourself, and be true to yourself.

 You can do it too, but you must work at it, I know my journey wasn’t the easiest, but I’m thankful to know what I need too now. Life’s rough, I’m sure we can all contest to that, but you can’t give up, whether it’s in work, or school, or just life in general. We all have dreams, ambitions, passions, and so on. So sit down, take a minute to breathe, and really think about what really makes you happy in life, now I know that’s easier said than done, but now look at it, and make it realistic, as well as practical, trust me I wanted to be an Olympic Swimmer, but I’m not, and maybe it was possible at one point, but nevertheless take those desires, and plan, and make steps to achieve your goals, even if the next 5 years are going to be rough, dedicate yourself, because it will pay off. But keep those steps close to you and constantly remind yourself that this is what I need to do to get where I want to go. The saying the sky is the limit, can be a true statement, if you commit, and dedicate yourself to a realistic plan to achieve what you want. That’s what I’m doing anyways, and its working for me, nevertheless this is your puzzle, and you need to figure out how to put it all together to see what the actual big picture is. And I have faith you will all get there.


Demon’s within our mind’s.

Everyone has a story from which our demon’s are created; now demon’s is the word I use, and I’m sure many other’s use. Now your demon’s might be called aniexty, anger, depression, PTSD, etc. Call it what you want, but at the end of the day whatever you call them is what haunts our dreams, some may have it worse or better then others, some may not even notice them, or even have a name for what many suffer from. Some may be temporary and some may be long lasting if not indefinite. No matter your situation, how we learn to live with them or get rid of them can be life saving, and I would know, but at the same time my battle goes on. 

This is just my story, maybe you will relate to it, maybe you will get some inspiration from it, or even just come to a realization that maybe you will need help whether it’s professional or family and friends, some kind of support. We are all different some can handle more then others, but don’t ever hesitate to reach out, humanity hasn’t died yet.

For the people who don’t have demon’s reading this, maybe you will get some incite on what we go through on a regular basis, and possibly understand that this might be why we do the things we do. Now for the ones that can relate enjoy the  journey into my mind, and life.

I want you to imagine your place of peace in your mind or even reality, mine for instance, is deep in the forest of Oregon with a little wooden cabin tucked in the trees, away from and big towns or just towns in general. When you come to this cabin you instantly feel at peace, from the smell of fresh air, the nosies of nature, the sight of trees, not to mention the smell of wood burning from the fireplace within the cabin, but you knew that before even smelling it since you could see the smoke belowing from the chimney, as you continue to walk closer you can see animals scuring about the forest from blue jays flying , chipmonks scurrying, deers running, etc. You stop to look around, and take it all in, from the white clouds in the light blue sky, birds flying though out nature, maybe you can see Mt. Hood or just trees, but then you start to look at the cabin, and you can see the beautiful grain of each piece of wood this house was built out of, as well as the fishing poles on the deck that has noticeable wear to it like it has been used a lot, or even the axe on the stump where the wood is chopped to bring into the house, every little detail you see just says “I’m at peace” with a simplicity to life, like not a care in the world besides living. (There’s a beautiful feeling we get from going outdoors or even just away to where you get your peace, but for me when I drive to the mountian, or forest it’s as if a weight is lifted as i get closer and closer; the weight of life like work, money, bills, school, projects, etc. It all falls off piece by piece until all is left is a human in nature with one task, which is to be one with earth, enjoy a fire, the sound of a bird or frog maybe even a cricket or the sound of a stream, to smell the fresh air away from pollution, free of headaches, maybe a drink from a fresh spring, the taste of a fresh caught fish cooked over a fire, maybe just a walk in nature, heck even just the warmth of a fire is tranquil.) Now inside this cabin it continues to show us simplicity, a calmness, love, and compassion for the small things in life. This cabin isn’t big but just enough, the kitchen is just right with everything you need to cook a good hearty meal, this kitchen wasn’t meant for takeout or a tv dinner but real home grown food. The living room is comfortable, enough room to host a gathering of friends or family, not a lot of technology or as i would say “distractions from life” this cabin has 3 bedrooms for a small family. On the walls you see pictures, hand made art, animal pelts or head mounts, not a lot but a specific type of feeling of art and nature, even the decorations around the house have a natures touch with real wood, or plants growing. It is clean and organized just as we all wish to have and keep. This is my place of peace both in reality, and in my mind.

But somethings missing, where are the people who live here? As you begin to do another sweep you notice two bedroom doors are closed and locked with a picture of a little girl on one door and a teenage boy on the other of which these must be the children, but no one is in them, then you see the master bedroom door open, and it looks like a bedroom but there’s a picture above one side of the bed of a women possibly the mother, but nothing on the other side, even though there is evidence of someone being on this side as for the father and husband. But where is he? Now as you stand here in God’s country at peace in nature you begin to worry and get a errie feeling as the emptiness closes in. Before you know it things begin to change, the wood on the walls start cracking and changing color, cob webs form in the corners, the lights begin to dim, the sounds of nature disappear, the fresh air becomes dry and stale and before you know it, it’s nothing but darkness around you with no sound.